PLOT
...Well, there really isn't one. Rather, the "story" of Bleach is just an endless stream of fights with no point, strung together, with the enemies getting gayer looking with each successive fight to trick you into thinking the story is going somewhere. It's worth noting that less than half of the battles even feature Ichigo or his band of queers. The rest are just about stereotypical-looking retards who no one gives a shit about and who have names that are too fucking long.
The battles themselves are much like the ones in Dragonball Z except a thousand times lamer. Some random character will be running along and some other random dumbass will appear in their path for no reason. It'll then cut to a flashback showing the two of them when they were friends 9,000 years ago. Back in the present, they'll spend about twenty minutes talking on and on and on about how they're gonna kick some of dat ass before sending their swords into god mode, which transforms said swords into mile-long turds or something. For the next 7 episodes they'll wave their swords around before one of them will reveal that they're ONLY USING TWO PERCENT OF THEIR POWER!!!!!!11!!%. The other will scream at them to stop holding back and they'll continue fighting for 20 more episodes before one of them will sustain a cut to the shoulder and die, only to be shown being revived in the next episode. Somehow, despite being death gods who wield magic swords that turn into demons or some other fucking retarded thing, nobody ever manages to get hit anywhere other than the shoulder. The only character who ever sustains some real damage in Kenpachi Zaraki, but that's just because you can stab him in the heart, lungs, balls, chest, asshole and face and cut his arms off and he'll still just stand there grinning like a faggot.
(c)